In Flight Entertainment

A while ago I was on a flight to visit some family. On the plane out of Newark, I had the window seat next to two older Jewish women who were traveling to Calgary with a senior group from Brooklyn.
The "blonde" sitting in 19D talked throughout the ENTIRE flight while her companion in 19E would only grunt in reply and refused to look up from her magazine.
Normally when I sit next to a talker, I simply take a nap or bury myself in a book. However, I found myself hoping to hear whatever 19D would say next. In short, she was absolutely awesome and kind of my new hero. Below are some snippets caught either between songs on my iPod or in-between naps. Imagine a VERY thick Brooklyn accent:

On modern technology:
"I bought this farkakteh camera at the Walgreens and I can't turn the damn thing off!! My son tells me it's a digital, but who knows how they get the pictures out."

During the safety briefing:
"Oh my god, I only see one exit door, where's the other exit door?? Oy vey, we're never getting off'a this plane!"

On fine cuisine:
" ....potatoes! Boiled. Fried. They're delicious. I love them!"

The one that sounded like a joke but was serious:
"Did your hear about that woman whose granddaughter kissed her in the ear? And then she couldn't hear anymore? They called it the kiss of deaf. Isn't that awful??"

Her Minneapolis layover plans:
"Oh good, we've got 45 minutes before our next flight. That'll give us time to use the lavatory. Although, I could hold it all the way to Calgary. You know I could..."

During landing:
"Oh that noise? That was the landing gear being lowered. That's one thing that's always been good about me, I'm very sensitive to noises."

Godspeed, Calgary-bound seniors! I hope you held it all the way there.